At the start of a New Year, many of us reflect upon the aspects in our lives we wish to change or improve. It may be to lose weight, take up a new hobby – or to develop confidence and self-esteem.
Jane Keogh, a performance coach, shares some insights into overcoming those confidence barriers.
Have you ever wondered what it is about some people that make them exude confidence from every single pore of their being?
Confidence is a state of being. It comes from feelings of well-being, acceptance of self; both in body and mind, and belief in ability, skills and experience. True self-confidence doesn’t happen overnight.
Remember that confidence is not static, our confidence can increase and decrease, depending on the situation.
Low confidence is generally triggered by lack of knowledge, preparation, fear of the unknown, and the inability to get out of your head. What I’m referring to here, are the many negative and unhelpful thoughts (blocks) that prevent us from taking the necessary action or steps to achieving whatever you want to achieve.
Mind-set and attitude (positive) is paramount to building confidence. Allowing thoughts to take over so that your mind feels like it is overwhelmed, not only deflects from what is going on in the ‘now’, but also disconnects us and renders us incapable of making any clear decisions.
Practice letting go of any thoughts that are not relevant, and bring yourself back to the present moment. Be aware of your ‘self-talk’ (internal dialogue) and the effect this has on you.
Remember to also be yourself – trying to be anything but you is exhausting. It will also make you uncomfortable and affect your confidence.
Knowledge is key – learn what you don’t know, ask questions, gain expertise and if you don’t know something, don’t blag it. Surprisingly, you will build your confidence by admitting that you don’t have all the answers but that you are willing to learn.
Here are my 15 tips for a confidence filled 2015:
- Remember that you are unique – recognise your qualities and build on them. Remember you are a human being who is worthy of respect, so earn it by building relationships based on trust
- Identify your talents
- Take pride in your good qualities
- Take care with your appearance, eat well, drink plenty of water and exercise
- Be grateful for what you have
- Stick to your principles/values (be true to yourself)
- Be a positive force in the world – be kind to the people around you – it boosts your confidence as well as theirs
- Smile (make it a habit) – a smiling face is way more appealing and also makes you feel better
- Make eye contact
- Accept compliments gracefully and gratefully
- Bounce back from mistakes, learn from them and let go of them – remember no one is perfect
- Avoid comparing yourself to others
- Ditch as many sources of negativity from your life as you can. Accept that there are some situations that you can do little about, however you can change your reaction to them
- Surround yourself with positive, encouraging people with a zest for life
- Let go of the past, enjoy the present, and trust that the future will unfold just as it is meant to
Above all, believe that you have the ability to be the confident, happy person you aspire to be!
Jane Keogh is an experienced coach and trainer who works with teams and individuals to grow and develop, enhancing productive behaviour and thinking, for improved efficiency and results. For more information contact www.janekeogh.co.uk